BEVERLY HILLS COURTHOUSE According to Authorities, LINDSAY LOHAN'S Margarita-Monitor was more lit than SHIA LABEOUF at Beerfest! Swaying before a Judge, LiLo the Stitch swore it was "all a zany mix-up," claiming she was innocently suckling a Juice-Box of Sunny-D, while doing the Hoky-Poky with the kooky cast of "Yo Gabba Gabba" in the Rumpus Room at Hogwarts! When, all of a sudden, wouldn't you know it, a unicorn on roller blades, bumped Lindsay into a Kiddy-Pool filled with Listerine Mouthwash! Lindsay had to drink herself out or drown! Sources say the Judge gave Lindsay a slap on the wrist! But Liquor-Lappin' Lindsay didn't feel a thing!
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