Crabs, Scabs...and Fab!

HOLLYWOOD: Something's bugging CHARLIE SHEEN!  His pubis, that is! The Hollywood bad-boy was recently spotted outside his Beverly Hills mansion, wearing a crotchless biohazard suit, being fumigated by a crack team of Orkin Men!  According to sources, the "One and a Half Men" star's pelt unleashed a swarm of army ants, fiddler crabs and a dwarf-stripper named Cupcake!  A disoriented Cupcake shouted, "Where's my money?!"