Fatterline: On the Good Ship Gravy Boat

SAN BERNARDINO:  KEVIN FEDERLINE just received a full gravy transfusion!  The "Celebrity Fit Club" star recently checked into a San Bernardino Hospital which teamed up with a local KFC!  According to sources, a team of nurses hooked a maximum-gauge feeding-tube from Kevin's lovehandle into a vat o' drippins; turkey-basting him every hour on the hour!  Today, Kevin has a new grease on life!